Diary of a Quarantined Mom: Days 56-58

In today’s episode of Cat Signs Up for Weird Virtual Running Challenges, I just registered for the virtual Old Glory Marathon All-American Challenge. What is this, you ask? Why, it’s a challenge where I will run a 5K, 10K, half marathon, and full marathon alone in the fall. Because I am crazy, and because I need things to keep me going and I very much doubt there will be any “normal” in-person races this fall.

Anyway, let’s get to the update.

Days 56-58 (May 9-11)

The weekend went very fast and was not a great one. I felt very emotional all weekend and things seemed much harder than usual. It was bad timing being that it was Mother’s Day and all.

Day 57: My Mother’s Day present

Rose was very excited for Mother’s Day, mostly because there was a large box in the hallway that she knew was a present for me and she wanted to know what it was. Turns out it was a convection toaster oven! I’m pretty excited to try it out… yesterday we made fries in it and they turned out decently (though I think I’ll parboil them for a few minutes the next time I make them). I also got a cool camera that prints photos instantly (like a Polaroid… but not a Polaroid). It was funny trying to explain a film camera to a five year old who has only ever experienced smartphone cameras.

On Saturday we tried to go for a walk, but the place we went (Caesar’s Creek State Park) was crowded and muddy, and not really the best place to take an independent toddler who wants to walk by himself and not hold hands. After he fell over a couple of times I called it a day and headed back to the car with him while Ben and Rose walked for a while. It was pretty much a wash.

Day 56: Hanging out with my sidekick

I did get out for a run on Sunday, but had to cut it short due to my bad decision of ordering spicy noodles for dinner on Saturday. It did feel good to get out and it was the only time I had to myself.

Today (Monday) was good in parts and bad in parts. It’s cold and I’m tired of this weather. I’m tired and feeling down. I was expecting some sort of update from the Ohio governor about the plan to reopen childcare centers but the update was that they don’t have a plan yet. While I appreciate them taking the time to come up with a plan that’s safe for everyone, I wish they wouldn’t have said there would be some sort of announcement Monday. That just added to my mood and general feeling of unease.

Day 57: My Mother’s Day present to myself

We have been paying a 25% rate on our daycare fees through all of this to keep the kids’ spots for when they open up. I’ve paid for eight weeks so far, and the last check I sent runs out the end of this week. So I need to decide whether to keep paying when we have no idea if and when daycares will open, or whether we should unenroll the kids and try to come up with a plan once it’s safe enough for them to go back to daycare.

But on the other hand, when will it really be safe for that? The reopening of Ohio has me feeling uneasy. It feels too soon and like we are just going to experience a second wave of infections sooner. At the beginning of this I was staying home to protect others and felt like it wouldn’t be a huge deal if we or the kids got sick. But since then I have seen instances of otherwise-healthy people contracting the virus and dying, and instances of children being affected months after recovery. I want to protect others and keep hospital capacities down, but now I am worrying about my family and how it could affect their long-term health if they were to get sick.

I know that I am not alone in this situation, and that does help. No one knows right now what will happen. No one can plan anything. Others are home all day with their kids, worrying about their physical and mental health and feeling sad that their lives have been interrupted so drastically. I try to tell myself that I am not alone, but sometimes I just want to give up and go to bed and lie in the dark. If you’re feeling like this too, please know that you are also not alone.

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